Good News, Bad news
Let's try to interpret
this dense AP article through the
good news/bad news filter and see what we get.
The Iraq insurgency is far larger than the 5,000 guerrillas previously thought to be at its core, U.S. military officials say, and it's being led by well-armed Iraqi Sunnis angry at being pushed from power alongside Saddam Hussein.
Although U.S. military analysts disagree over the exact size, dozens of regional cells, often led by tribal sheiks and inspired by Sunni Muslim imams, can call upon part-time fighters to boost forces to as high as 20,000...
That would be
bad news. That's a lot of people to kill.
- an estimate reflected in the insurgency's continued strength after U.S. forces killed as many as 4,000 in April alone.
Definitely
good news here. At a rate of 4,000 a month, we'll run through the current crop of 20,000 in another 5 months or so, assuming we don't accidentally produce another 20,000 by, say, torturing large numbers of innocent Iraqis and releasing pictures to some America-hating network like CBS.
The developing intelligence picture of the insurgency contrasts with the commonly stated view in the Bush administration that the fighting is fueled by foreign warriors intent on creating an Islamic state.
"We're not at the forefront of a jihadist war here," said a U.S. military official in Baghdad, speaking on condition of anonymity.
This is
good news. It means that people on the ground actually know what they're doing in spite of the lame administration bullshit rhetoric. But more importantly it means we're fighting mostly nationalists, not jihadists. You can bargain with the former.
The official and others told The Associated Press the guerrillas have enough popular support among nationalist Iraqis angered by the presence of U.S. troops that they cannot be militarily defeated.
Someone in the US military is telling journalists we're in a war we can't win. That's
bad news. Has Dick Cheney been informed yet? Those aren't flowers they're showering on our troops. Let's talk exit strategy then. There's door #1 which leads to chaos, door #2 which leads to more chaos, and door #3 which leads to nuclear chaos.
The military official, who has logged thousands of miles driving around Iraq to meet with insurgents or their representatives, said a skillful Iraqi government could co-opt some of the guerrillas and reconcile with the leaders instead of fighting them.
He did what? This guy is part Rambo, part Henry Kissinger. Well, if you replace Henry Kissinger with someone who isn't a criminal scumbag. Sounds like
good news.
U.S. military documents obtained by AP show a guerrilla band mounting attacks in Baghdad that consists of two leaders, four sub-leaders and 30 members, broken down by activity. There is a pair of financiers, two cells of car bomb-builders, an assassin, separate teams launching mortar and rocket attacks, and others handling roadside bombs and ambushes.
Two leaders, huh? Do you mean to tell me that Iraqi insurgent cells are more egalitarian than the martial-law-declaring appointed government in Baghdad? But this is
good news because everyone knows you can't run an effective terrorist cell with two leaders. That's when its time for mitosis.
Most of the insurgents are fighting for a bigger role in a secular society, not a Taliban-like Islamic state, the military official said. Almost all the guerrillas are Iraqis, even those launching some of the devastating car bombings normally blamed on foreigners - usually al-Zarqawi.
The official said many car bombings bore the "tradecraft" of Saddam's former secret police and were aimed at intimidating Iraq's new security services.
Many in the U.S. intelligence community have been making similar points, but have encountered political opposition from the Bush administration, a State Department official in Washington said, also speaking on condition of anonymity.
Civilian analysts generally agreed, saying U.S. and Iraqi officials have long overemphasized the roles of foreign fighters and Muslim extremists.
I'm shocked, shocked. The Bushies are peddling lies about Iraq and are supressing the true story. Who woulda thunk it? This section deserves its own article, or two, or ten. But if you thought bad news, you'd be wrong. At some point in the rapidly approaching future George Dubya will be crushed under the weight of his own lies like an obese shut-in who suffers from heart failure while simultaneously choking on an entire side of beef. This is yet another fat-filled, Calorie laden, jelly donut of lies that will be his own undoing.
Good news.
The officer said Iraq's insurgents have a big advantage over guerrillas elsewhere: plenty of arms, money, and training. Iraq's lack of a national identity card system - and guerrillas' refusal to plan attacks by easily intercepted telephone calls - makes them difficult to track.
Darn those crafty insurgents. If only they wore big signs on their backs with the words "Designated guerilla. Please shoot me." written in huge letters in some real obnoxious font. Then they would be so much easier to spot and catch. This is
bad news in the literal sense of the word. The last line is completely out of place and makes no sense.
